September giveaway
Win an original Camp Steve shirt
Two winners. No purchase necessary.
Enter by September 30
Submit your entry
CAMP STEVE Questionably openAn institution of uncertain origin
Camp
Steve
For all those unlucky enough
not to be named Steve at birth.
Location subject to change • Accreditation pending
Worldwide enrollment // personnel review
You may already
be a Steve.
Nine million people arrived with the name. Everyone else can qualify through a documented series of questionable decisions, unexplained absences and stories that improve substantially with time.
Welcome to camp.01
Mandatory orientation
OFFICIAL // MOSTLY
The shirt is real.
The camp most definitely
probably exists.
The surviving records identify a cantankerous Camper Zero as the catalyst. Demands were made. Adult supervision remained largely theoretical. T-shirts appeared. Camp Steve gloriously emerged. No permits were secured.
It has since expanded into a decentralized institution whose alumni are authorized to invent its location, mission and deeply troubling accreditation history.
AUTHORIZED COVER STORYFORM CS-01
“A professional pickleball camp for recovering alcoholics in Ohio.”
02
Camp activities
A full program of
poorly supervised growth.
Unlicensed canoeing
Paddles optional. Return of equipment strongly encouraged.
Risk: MoistCompetitive lying
Specificity, confidence and unnecessary regional detail are rewarded.
Risk: ReputationalTent improvisation
Our structures become team-building exercises without warning.
Risk: StructuralRaccoon diplomacy
Negotiations begin after lunch is taken. Results have varied.
Risk: SandwichAdvanced whittling
Participants create objects nobody requested from sticks we needed.
Risk: PointyQuiet reflection
Cancelled indefinitely due to an incident near the floating dock.
Risk: Unknown03
Standing orders
- 01Wear the uniform.
Olive drab. Stencil letters. No explanation offered.
- 02Wait to be asked.
Curiosity is the only authorized recruitment method.
- 03Lie with confidence.
Your answer must be bizarre, specific and almost believable.
- 04Never repeat yourself.
Every inquiry receives an entirely different Camp Steve.
DEPARTMENT OF RECREATIONAL OVERSIGHTFACILITY INSPECTION REPORT // FORM CS-19B
CAMP STEVECLASSIFIED
✓ Entrance sign structurally optimistic
✓ Canoe inventory irreconcilable
✓ Raccoon controls inadequate
✓ Adult supervision not observed
Inspection discontinued after assigned canoe departed without inspector.
DENIEDFOLLOW-UP
REQUIREDLICENSE
REVOKED
Disposition is final unless a different inspector can be located.REQUIREDLICENSE
REVOKED
Standard issue equipment
The official
uniform.
Wearing it grants full authority to invent Camp Steve’s location, purpose and history. It also looks excellent at bars, on boats and anywhere strangers ask too many questions.
Inspect camp supply →No dues • No cabins • No consistent storyMy name is Steve.